The plates involved in the project.

The Plate Project is something that started out as a way to get out emotions such as anger and deep sadness. This was thought up in a session with my therapist, Jill. Having this hands-on experience transformed into something even more meaningful to me. I sat down to start smashing these plates and began to think… what if there was meaning behind each of these plates? So, on most of them, I wrote words of emotions and other things that I have experienced in my life (Phase One). Some of these plates, I will not show close-ups of them because they are too personal. After I wrote on these plates, I proceeded to smash the hell out of them (Phase Two). And, while profanity is not always the best word choice in most situations, I believe that this is one of those occasions that it describes the action perfectly. Below are pictures from this project.

August 3, 2010

Detachment

Detachment has been something that I have experienced off and on for the last few years, but stronger in the last few weeks. It has been pretty easy for me to separate myself from most situations in my life lately. While it helps me get through some things, it also has become pretty annoying because sometimes I do not even enjoy things I used to or feel emotions that I know I should be feeling. But, as always, it will pass and I will be taking the world by storm. I mean, what else would you expect from me?

Abuse

Everyday, children and adults around the world are abused in one way or another. Whether it may be physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually it hurts. I can identify with this hurt and this is why it was put on a plate for this project.

Guilt

I am constantly feeling guilty for feeling many of my emotions. This guilt has a way of consuming you and preventing you from accepting that your emotions may be valid. Guilt is such a powerful emotion and I wish I would have put it on a bigger plate than I did.

Depression

Depression is something that I have been dealing with since I was in sixth grade. There is nothing like the feeling of being a sixth grader and wishing you would not wake up in the morning and it breaks my heart even thinking back on it. Depression has been a really big part of my life in the last year, especially with moving off to college and dealing with all of the stress that comes with that. I know some day I will get through it, but right now it is definitely one of those storms that likes to try to take away any view of the beautiful things in life. However, while this storm is really big right now, there is that silver lining. That silver lining is the building of character that will come of this. After all, what is life without struggle?

Loneliness

I misspelled this one… And the perfectionist in me wanted to cross it out, but my wisemind (credit to D.B.T.) said that it would be pointless mostly because I would be smashing the plate in the first place… and if it really bothered me I could edit it in Photoshop. I have sometimes felt in the past that I was alone in feeling the way that I have. I know now, in my heart of hearts, that that is not true. This has been proven to me especially during my group therapy on Tuesday nights. It a comfort to know that I am not alone.

Unbalanced

I just constantly feel unbalanced, so I decided that it deserved a plate in this project.

Shame

I decided to put ‘shame’ on the largest plate involved in the project. The emotion that I think is the hardest one to overcome is shame. Shame is so strong and comes from so many things in life that is can sometimes be paralyzing. I know that it has been for me, especially in certain situations and from certain actions.

For Jill

I was on the phone with Jill, my therapist, for a D.B.T. coaching call and I told her I would break a plate for her. So, keeping true to my promise, here is the plate that I broke for her!

Phase Two: It’s Smashing…

The pieces left after smashing the first plate.

The hammer I used.

The pieces about halfway through the smashing.

These parts of the project have been a part of one of the most expressive things I have done in a very long time. I do not usually open up about my feelings in such a public way, but this was different. I know I am not the only one who deals with chaotic family situations or depression. I also know that this has been a very symbolic thing for me, and I hope that the end result will be something beautiful made from some not so great feelings/experiences.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: