Pending

February 27, 2015

Every now and then I toy with the idea of archiving this blog and starting a new one. This blog has been around for a while, neglected and sometimes I feel like it just isn’t relevant to me anymore. Then I remember that my life is constantly changing and this blog has given me the gift of seeing the growth over the last six or so years. This blog captures the dynamic changes in my life and how I have grown as a person.

So here I sit. I feel that I need to take the next step. Move on to focus on something that means something to me, something that maybe will reach others, and honestly, something that I can commit to.

Whether this means archiving this blog or linking it to a new one, I don’t want to let go of it completely. I have put my heart into some of these entries and I never want to lose that or forget those memories.

A new chapter has opened in my life and many unexpected opportunities surround me. I want to channel those new experiences into a new space. So, with as much ambivalence I can muster, the status of the specific blog is Pending.

Until we meet again,

Skylar

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Charts

January 9, 2014

I have a pretty varied medical history, but I am not just a patient with a chart.
I may have symptoms, coughs, aches and pains.
I may have struggles and obstacles.
I may even be a challenging mystery at times, but I am not just a patient with a chart.

I may be another person, coming in with the current ill.
I may have bronchitis and need a prescription,
Or I may have depression or bipolar or some other mental struggle.
I may not even get an answer, but I am not just a patient with a chart.

I know that there are many of us persons coming in and out of the office.
I know that there may be a lot of similar diagnoses.
I know that it is hard to figure out the illness in such a short amount of time.
I know that sometimes you don’t have an answer, but I am not just a patient with a chart.

Thank you for taking the time.
Thank you for listening and talking.
Thank you for being there to care.
Thank you for not treating me like just a patient with a chart.

Will

January 6, 2014

I don’t believe in accidents. I believe that things happen for a reason.

I know you are probably shaking your head right now. It is just a cliche, right?

That may be true for you, but for me it is a reality. I would not be standing right here, in this point in time if certain things hadn’t happened. I would not be in a different city, with a new life, with a new self if there had not been moments and experiences that brought me here. I don’t think God has every moment of our lives mapped out, but I do believe that he brings people and opportunities in and out of your life when they are supposed to be there.

I also am a very strong-willed person. I try to will things to happen and often it isn’t what is going to get me where I am supposed to be. It is funny how powerful will is. It isn’t funny how it can cause frustration and pain. I have to constantly challenge my will to back down and let me just exist.

Are you willful or willing?

Pancakes

January 4, 2014

Day 3 of the Zero to Hero 30 Challenge- What’s on your mind?

A letter the President of The Bank:

Dear Bank President, 
I am writing you to express my concern for the continued success of your bank. As a customer, I  usually only have time to come to the bank in the morning or at lunch and that seems to be when everyone else can as well which creates lines. I am concerned because the lines get so long that several of us start looking around for food (mints) because we are beginning to get hungry. 
Here is my proposal: You have that fairly decent sized area off the the side of the room that does not really seem to be used for much. Let’s get a table and some griddles and serve pancakes. Not only will your customers have full stomachs, but it could be entertaining as well.

Thank you for your consideration,

Hungry Customer

Image

My friends and I at a Christmas celebration this year.

Today is Christmas Eve and it really doesn’t feel like it. Despite the chill in the air and the snow on the ground, I am in denial. There is no way that it is possible that the year is almost over. I feel like it is early fall and I have plenty of time to accomplish the things I resolved to do on my 2013 agenda. Looking back, yes I have accomplished some things-but not everything I wanted to! 

It is funny how we set ourselves up for failure. We come up with 50+ New Years resolutions (most of them ridiculously not practical) and expect to fit them into our already maxed out daily lives. Most of the time these resolutions are made with the best of intentions, but that doesn’t make them attainable. I know I am sounding like a hater of this yearly NYE Resolution trend, but I know I am not the best at following through. 

This year, I am resolving to (hopefully) work towards the 4 Agreements:

Agreement One:

Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Agreement Two:

Don’t take anything personally – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Agreement Three:

Don’t make assumptions – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Agreement Four:

Always do your best – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

(From author Don Miguel Ruiz)

I know I won’t master these in a year, but it is certainly something to work towards in 2014!

 

With all of that being said, go and enjoy your holiday festivities and spend time with those you love!

Merry Christmas!

Risk

December 12, 2013

This is me when I was afraid to take the risk of getting on a rollercoaster

This is me when I was afraid to take the risk of getting on a rollercoaster.

Sometimes life throws you curveballs. Sometimes these curveballs suck because the force you to make a decision on whether or not to take risks. Risks are a necessary part of life. Relationships, career paths, education decisions, and many other areas of life challenge us.

To speak frankly, I must admit that I hate risks. They confuse me and cause great anxiety for me. I always end of questioning all aspects of taking the risk and sometimes even catastrophize. What if I ruin the good things about the present? What if it ends up working out and it isn’t the outcome is different than I expected? What if there is a small success that is only temporary?

The answer to all of these questions, in the end, typically end up being “What would happen if I don’t take the risk? Will I be missing out on something great? What if these risks would have improved the quality of my life?”

I understand that “What if?” questions usually end up making the risk-taking decision a lot more difficult than it needs to be. But how do you avoid the stomach churning feelings that surface when the risk word becomes a present thing in your life.

My challenge to myself and the readers of this blog post is to take that leap. Make those decisions to take risks. Be okay with accepting to possible (good or bad) consequences that will come from taking these risks.

Challenge: Don't be afraid. Take the risk.

Challenge: Don’t be afraid. Take the risk.

Skylar Gott signing off.

 

To My 22-Year-Old Self

July 18, 2013

Cousins celebrating my 21st

Dear 22 year-old self,
Last year was a fantastic year! You made new friends, figured out which career field you belong in, and ultimately grew as a young adult. You learned some lessons the hard way and discovered your strengths. Ultimately, you began to figure out just who “Skylar” is. To sum up the year, here are a few lessons that you should always carry with you:

1. Push Yourself. This is the time in your life where you can push yourself to go on new adventures and do things you would never have thought you could. You started doing Roller Derby, singing more than to your steering wheel, and barrel rolled like you were James Bond across a busy street. Push yourself, not only beyond your comfort zone, but through those tough times. It will make you stronger and you will likely level up in awesomeness.

2. You’re Not Awkward Unless You Decide You Are. Take a leaf out of the book of Zoey Deschanel’s character on “New Girl”. Jess doe not go around saying how awkward she is, instead she embraces her quirkiness and is comfortable in her own skin. You may be quirky and sometimes sing about what you are doing, but that is alright! Keep being goofy! With that being said, try not to make a habit of making loud goat noises in a Chinese restaurant with your roommates-that is taking it too far…

3. Never Take Yourself Too Seriously. Remember, we are all human and we make mistakes. Please, do not spend countless hours analyzing why things went wrong (or even how you did something right). Sometimes laughing at yourself is all you need to do to feel better. After all, sometimes we end up making rather silly errors. Laugh it off and learn from it, I promise it will be okay.

4. Never Quit Learning. Even if you are not in school, there is always an opportunity to learn. Whether it is from life experiences, unusual documentaries on Netflix, or through your workplace, take something away with you as you embark on the next adventure in your life.

5. Relax. Do not fill up your schedule with meetings, social gatherings, and other commitments. Remember, you cannot do everything and do it well. You have to practice self care and take time to refresh. If you don’t, you will end up burning out and turning into the Grinch.

Being 21 was great, but being 22 will be even better. Remember these lessons and you will go far.

Love

Skylar A.P. Gott

I have never been that great at doing this whole “sick day” thing. Today, however, I sucked it up and made myself stay put on the futon with enough Sprite to probably fill a swimming pool and my laptop. Upon spending many hours baffled as to why I do not spend more time “surfing the interwebs”, I discovered several gems. One of these precious jewels comes from a website called the Thought Catalog. I saw that there is an “About” link on the site, but honestly I was not interested in clicking it. There were no foreseeable pictures and I was not reading anything word for word (thank you cold medicine). With that being said, I have no idea why this website exists or who the contributors are, but I found some pretty frank and fantastic reads. One was particularly fitting for my current situation of being all germy and such- 25 Ways to Feel Better When You Feel Sad by Steven Scott (Link can be found at the end of my post). Naturally, sick/fluish persons get sad and slightly stir crazy. I found this list very inspiring, although at times completely ridiculous. There are definitely elements of irreverence, which is probably why I find it so fascinating.

After analyzing these ways to feel better, I came to the conclusion that if you want to take the first step to feeling awesome, you better become the master of distraction. Some of these methods really stood out and made me think “Yup, that is probably something I could do”. I feel it is my duty to highlight some of these fantastically ridiculous catalysts for feeling better. Here are my top five:

1. “Write an awful one-act play. Then read it aloud. Make sure to distinguish between characters by changing the timbre of your voice. If still sad: drink.”
Why it is brilliant: I am a huge fan of making a fool of myself. What makes it even better is that there is no one around to laugh at you while you are doing it! And let’s face it, if you have ever heard any of the “off-the-wall” things I say frequently, you know any awful one-act play that I write will be one for the history books. If that fails, whiskey is the next best option.

2. “Make a list of things you fear. This should be both “trivial” things (e.g. mice, things that go *bump* in the night) and “big” things (e.g. death, failure, et cetera). Think long and hard about these things, and decide which would be most feasible to overcome. Then, overcome it.”
Why this is brilliant: I am good at being trivial. I am also good at being terrified of the “biggies” (failure, death, the sky falling…). Why not put it all out there on the table and think about them. And then move on. Maybe I will actually quit being a wimp whenever I see a spider?

3. “Rearrange your furniture. Position pieces with the end goal of creating more open space. If still sad, built a goddamn skylight.”
Why this is brilliant: I love to move things around. Depending on what you are moving, you can get a pretty nice workout. Also, sometimes you end up making a terrible mess. I do not know about you, but there are times I just want to make the biggest mess in the world (and then promptly clean it up). Destruction (constructively speaking) can be very therapeutic. Hence the true reason why I love this method so much: build a skylight. Just do not tell my roommate… or landlord.

4. “Go to the bank, but do not make a deposit. Walk up to the candy jar, take a sucker and leave. Don’t take no for an answer.”
Why this is brilliant: I am not usually a huge risk taker and the possibilities of someone thinking you are trying to rob the bank are higher than any other trip you might take to that place of business. With that being said, sometimes you need a little danger in your life. In the land of “Skylar”, this is dangerous enough. I also imagine it would be rather empowering to walk in, know why you are there, and make it happen. This is on my to-do list for May.

5. “Start a conversation with a stranger. Ask them how they lost their virginity, or where they grew up, or who they’re named after. If they return your question, lie — re-invent yourself for a moment.”
Why this is brilliant: This is a combination of two things I rather enjoy- being socially awkward and being ridiculous. I can think of a million mortifying questions to ask and I have the imagination to make up just as weird of answers. Who knows, maybe I will make some new friends (depending on just how creepy the conversation gets).

Either you found this post helpful, ridiculous, or grounds for committing me. Regardless, go check out the article for more crazy ways to make yourself feel better. Maybe once this cold medicine wears off, my posts will make more sense…. (do not get your hopes up).

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/25-ways-to-feel-better-when-you-feel-sad/

-Skylar, Master of Distraction (In Training)

Rejoice

May 12, 2012

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.” Proverbs 31:25

I cannot begin to tell you how comforting and more true these words become each and every day. There was a time when I was not sure that I could find something to rejoice over. It is amazing how even little things call for celebration.

Strength is a funny thing. A lot of the time, one misses out on seeing their strength because of self doubt. I have certainly been guilty of this. Growing up in the environment I did was no easy task. Coming out of said environment with a desire to be different requires strength. I could have easily taken that path towards self-deceit and denial, refusing to take advantage of opportunities presented to me because I was scared or it would have been too hard. It has taken me a very long time to see my strength. With this newly realized strength, I have become unstoppable. The strides I have taken to do different and improve, in the last 5 months specifically, have been great. A strong person creates change. 

Realizing and accepting this strength has made it easier to take time and rejoice. I rejoice because:
-I can finally work 40 hour weeks
-I am comfortable (for the most part) in my own skin
-Making wiseminded decisions has become easier
-My relationships are healthier
-I am even better at advocating for myself
And SO much more.

Speaking of rejoicing, Monday is going to provide a lot of opportunity for that! On Monday I am blessed to be able to start a new assignment at Capstan Ag. The people there are amazing and encourage growth and communication. Needless to say, I am stoked! Also, I will be installed as a member of the Kaw Chapter of the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP). 

I’m going to go do my happy dance. I challenge you to think of 3 things each day that make you rejoice, I know I sure am going to try to!

 

 

AND HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Wow. The last few month have been absolutely insane! So much has happened and a lot of lessons have been learned. Now, I stand before you as a 20-something who has no clue what is in store and it is absolutely fine with me. I have been on a break from school for about 4 1/2 months and am exploring who I am, acknowledging where I have been, and striving for excellence. I have grown so much in the last 4 1/2 months and I am so excited to share this with you guys. First, I have 2 BIG announcements!

On December 17th, 2011, My family and I celebrated our 1 year as a legal family! Adoption has opened up doors for me and has given me the opportunity to be a part of a loving and caring family. With their help, I am becoming the girl I was meant to be!

 

Family Picture by Elizabeth Jackson Photography

And for the second announcement! I am super excited to tell you guys that I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder! There is such freedom that comes with this. I have been taken off medication that has made me really foggy and also made me pass out regularly! I feel like a brand new person!

All of this is really exciting. I have also made a lot of changes in my life and have worked really hard to improve and become a better daughter, friend, and person. This growth has been painful at times and I have made some errors, but overall I am getting better and stronger each day.

Well, I know this is my first post in awhile but I hope you guys are as excited as I am and will keep checking back for more interesting posts!

 

Skylar