Letting People In

February 14, 2011

So, I cannot sleep, so here is yet another blog post.

Walls. I have a habit of putting walls up. In the past, I have been pretty selective when it comes to letting people break through these walls. Lately, I have found myself letting more and more people in. All through my life, I have had trust issues. I always believed that if I let someone in, they would see too much and no longer be around. God has put some pretty amazing people in my life and the walls have slowly come down.

This has thrown me through a loop.

Starting with church camps, I believe this was in middle school, I found people that I could confide in. When I was a part of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I found two camp counselors that helped me get through the early years of my depression. That point in my life was such a challenge and at the time I felt that there was no way that I could continue living my life, I was still processing the events from my childhood that constantly ran through my mind. These people really helped me start to see what God was doing in my life and I eventually began to feel God’s call in my life.

As I moved into high school, I joined the United Methodist Church. One of the first people I met was Lane who later became like a surrogate father to me. He was someone that I could talk to about anything and helped me see that the struggles I was facing were not entirely unique, but vastly different from what my peers experienced. I believe that God put him in my life for a reason and that Lane was in my life to challenge me. I often did not like how Lane told me how it was and the wisdom that he gave to me. Later on, I would always see that he was not saying these things to be mean, but he was telling me how it is and it helped me grow as a person. He gave me such great care that helped me become the person I am today.

Shortly after joining the United Methodist Church, I began getting involved in conference youth ministry events like Spiritual Life Retreat and Institute. Through these events, I met some great friends and adults that changed my life and helped me through more struggles that I faced throughout high school. Several of these people have played such pivotal roles in my life and have been there for me no matter what. Walls kept falling down. In 2009, I finally started talking about things that I had held in for so long. God was doing major things in my life that shaped me and molded me. These people have continued to help me throughout my college life and have also seen myself while I was going through some of the lowest times in my life. These people have also enabled me to get the help I have needed to seek out to become a stronger person.

Last year, I let more people in my life and in August I began the process of breaking down the walls that surrounded all parts of my life and ultimately came to the decision that I wanted to let them fully into my life and in December I was legally adopted. These people know the good, the bad, and the ugly that is Skylar.

Most recently, I have moved to Kansas State University and have met a unique group of peers that know pretty much everything about me. This is one of the only cases that I have let peers in aside from a select group of people that I have from high school. One of the most amazing and recent examples of this is my new relationship with a boy that is a part of K-state Wesley. I usually run from relationships, but after almost a week, I have made it through that initial phase of wanting to run. If this were even two months ago, I would have probably run like hell by now.

The people I have mentioned have not been the only ones who have helped me break down the walls that I have put up. I have been blessed with so many people that care about me, people who have seen most of the good and the bad of my life. I am truly lucky and I know that God has had such a big part in this. So, take a look and see that there are people you can trust no matter how much hurt has been in your life.

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One Response to “Letting People In”

  1. Barbie said

    You’re an amazing person, Skylar!

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