January 30, 2011

A new year, a new start. That is what is always said at the end of one year and the start of another. For me, this really is a new start.

So much has changed in the last month or so. All of these things have shaped me, for the better I think.

I was legally adopted in December and it has completely changed my life. For the first time in about a year I have not been bouncing around from place to place, I actually have a home. I know that if my real mom is reading this, she is probably crying and I guess what I want to say to her is “I love you”. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to see your daughter be accepted into another family and leaving the one that she has been a part of for all of her life. What I want her to know is that I am still a part of her family, I have just added onto my own. I had so many torn emotions about this because I was so worried about how others would react, but I need this for me. I, for once, get to be completely and utterly selfish. This adoption has really put a new perspective one family for me and has really evened me out. I no longer hold everything in all of the time. I like boring. I can almost even relax-not completely, but it is a start.

Leaving Baker
This has to have been one of the most challenging things of the last month. I was declared ineligible to enroll and thus kicked out of Baker. It really disappointed me, but surprisingly I was not crushed by it. There was a time when this would have destroyed me and I would have completely shut down, this is not that time. In truth, I really was not happy at Baker University and it showed in my social and academic lives. I had been forcing myself for the last year and a half to be happy there and it just was not working no matter how hard I tried. Getting kicked out of Baker has probably been one of the greatest things to happen to me in the last year, which sounds strange, but it has given me a chance to really start over and be the person I want to be.

Going to Kansas State University
This happened so fast. I filled out an application and within one week I had an appointment with the dean to explain my academic situation. I was accepted fifteen minutes into the meeting. After the meeting I met up with the campus minister at the KSU Wesley House and signed contracts for housing. Four days later I moved in. That Friday, I enrolled and met with my advisor. Classes started the following Tuesday. And here I am, two weeks into my first semester at KSU. I am getting a fresh start to be the best I can be. I can leave behind the silly mistakes I made at Baker (but still learn from them) because this is a new page and those mistakes do not define me. I am so excited to see what opportunities are ahead of me here at KSU. EMAW.

Changing My Life Path
For the last few years, I have been convinced that I have been called to ordained ministry. With all that has happened in the last few weeks, I have had, not necessarily a change of heart, but a new perspective on what God is calling me to do. I have always felt like serving others is what I am meant to do and it is what God has put me here for. I do not want to have to stress out every week over writing a sermon and moving around every few years because it takes away from my desire to fully serve a community of people to my fullest ability. Before I go any further, I want to be clear that I am not knocking the ministry. I just do not feel like it is the best way I can serve others. I feel that God has placed the trials and experiences I have had in my life to help me better relate and help people. I am no longer a religion or history major. I am a proud social work major and I cannot wait to see what God is going to do with this.

Yes, a lot has changed. I have changed. My path has changed. May this change bring joy and peace and may I learn from every moment of it.

Skylar Gott

2 Responses to “Change”

  1. Heather said

    Deacon. Look into it. Or pastoral counseling.

    • Skylar A.P. Gott said

      I was originally thinking of becoming an elder, but I will definitely consider these two things. I really love my new major.

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